KIA OPTIMA: DOUCHEBAGS NEED APPLY

If you were one of the 13,000 to buy a Kia Optima this past month, you're a douchebag.

The heavy marketing the Optima has received since its release late last year has propelled the "not-so-average midsize sedan" to increase Kia sales "15.9 percent over 2011." (Source)

This goes to show how marketing can brainwash the public into buying something they don't need. 

Something tells me people who want 24MPG city and 35MPG highway aren't the type to take full advantage of the 274-horsepower powerplant the Optima provides. 

What's most insulting to auto enthusiasts is how blatantly Kia uses deception in order to sell the Optima as if it's a rear-wheel drive sports sedan... 

Which it's not.  

Watch as this 2012 Kia Optima engages in a maintained slide.  

This, and the other well-known ads have thwarted the Optima into it high sales trends. 

There is not only deception from the ad campaign that this economy car is rear-wheel drive and sporty, but also from the design department. Compare the exterior design of the Optima to the E60 BMW M5. 

The door design, the fender vent, the rear taillights, the headlights, the front fascia, to even the wheels are very similar from the top-end luxury sports sedan to the econo-box sedan. Here's a textbook example of how design influences trickle down from the elite to the economical as years go by and body styles are phased out. 

ANTI-JALOPNIK: MISSION STATEMENT

Are you one of the many savvy internet users to trust Jalopnik.com as your primary, if not sole, source for automotive information? If so, stop this very moment.

You likely have been relying on Jalopnik as your only source of information long enough that you no longer think twice about the content you read. I mean, it's all fairly well written, it's very timely, includes a very modern interface that takes advantage of SICK HYPERLINKZ, embedded YouTube videos (mostly of heinous traffic incidents or Jeremy Clarkson blabbing on about how Lamborghini's air conditioning is one degree too cold) or Facebook and Twitter functionality.

With all of that being said, it's easy to think that Jalopnik is a trustworthy and well-researched source of information. And because of this, the site has many devoted fans that will claim it is in fact a bastion of journalistic integrity. 

Sadly, it's not. The majority of Jalopnik's content is based on subjective accounts, biases, rumors and assumptions.

Don't believe me just yet? Check back in the coming days to see what I mean. You will look elsewhere for your automotive news!